Our first week together back in January 2011. He knows who loves him already!
I’m starting to realize that trying to gain perspective is like chasing your tail…round and round you go. And catching up to it is sort of like hindsight; turns out that while you thought you had an inkling of an idea, you’re actually just back at the beginning.
And then there is the life of a dog.
Murphy has a pretty clear understanding of his purpose in life: Eat, sleep, walk, take care of business, (have mom take care of said ‘business’), and basically watch my every move to make sure that he isn’t missing any cues. I guess I should emphasize that it’s one thing to have a loyal dog; it’s another to have a loyal Border Collie. His breed is bred to pick a human, imprint on them and make him/her their whole life. Seriously. We’re talking the Alpha, Omega, Beginning and End. Unless he is sleeping, he is watching. He’s like Santa but without the presents.
And yet so cute! (Once you get past the creepy factor…)
I’ve heard it said that some people, in a way, envy the dead because they have all the answers. I think this is true whether you believe Heaven is awaiting you or not. But until then, it feels so unfair that life is so uncertain.
As kids all we want to do is grow up. And then we do, and we just miss the days of sticky popsicle faces and long, lazy, summers. I remember feeling like my problems at the time were so huge. Sometimes I think about what it would be like to have a child of my own, and what it will feel like to just want to baby-shake them (for lack of a better word) so they’ll get a sense of reality. To make them realize that this will pass, that this is “nothing.” But it’s not fair for us as adults, after years of self-therapy and learning moments, to tease and laughingly call them “problems” when at that age they are everything…. that’s what perspective does. It lets you think you’re in charge and then it kicks you from behind when you least expect it.
It’s been a whole month since my sixteen-year-old ‘cousin’ Logan took his life. And now everyone is left thinking that just thirty-one days we could have said something life-changing, inspirational, or even funny… something that would have made him think twice, change his mind, or decide there was another option. Until the end of time, I will never understand how a sixteen-year-old can feel that his world is so dark and cloudy, that there is no hope for sunshine.
And while I tease Murphy for being so obsessive, I wonder if he has it all figured out. Understand that life is going to happen all around you. Focus. Find something you just can’t live without and let the whole world know it’s yours.
“If there is ever a day when we can’t be together. Keep me in your heart. I’ll stay there forever.” ~ Winnie the Pooh